165ish Lbs. of Context, Logic, and Love
Ok, nothing like starting a confession with a confession. There was an AI trend going around recently: ask ChatGPT to describe you to someone you don’t know in a way that would be a warning, and post the response here. Oh, this sounds like fun; I’m in. Most people had one or two paragraphs—the typical, ‘very nice girl, but don’t make her mad’—yada yada.
You guessed it, Sir Chat thought I needed a dissertation. Apparently, there is plenty you should be warned about me. Harrumph.
I’m not nearly as verbose as my imaginary friend, so my retort was—If Nana is 13ish lbs. of opinion, fluff, and entitlement, doesn’t it make sense that my description/warning could be as simple as 165ish lbs. of Context, Logic, and Love? Chat conceded, “as long as you allow for follow-up questions.”
Am I missing something? Doesn’t that fall under context? I’m just saying my opinion will change based on the context. Heck, the answer might depend on whether I’ve had my coffee yet and put in my hearing aids. I frequently need more information before passing judgment. Who, what, when, where, and why all dance around my head demanding answers. My answer depends on how those questions are resolved. Shoot, I even called the police recently on what appeared to be a prowler on my security video. Once I had more information, I welcomed him inside—after letting him know he scared me to death. That’s context. I wasn’t expecting him to be at that place and time, and until I had more information, I wasn’t going outside alone to chase him off.
Moving on to logic—My car was vandalized in my driveway about a month ago. I asked my neighbor if he had the incident on his security camera, as I saw his light coming on when it happened. He said, “Oh yeah, I'm sure it documented it, but it's stored in the cloud somewhere, and I don't know how to access it.” I dismissed the request and said it probably would not change anything anyway. In the next breath, the man tells me he thinks we need a neighborhood watch group. I wondered what good it does for him to watch the neighborhood if he can’t access the information he needs. The irony totally missed him.
Or perhaps not, as he shifted gears and suggested that I start the watch group because the Neighbors Actually Like Me! Sigh.
For those who think life is black and white. Ima call bullshit!
Nothing in my world is black and white—especially people. I really tried to teach that to my kids; no one I know is all good or all bad. The trick is learning how far you can trust them.
Can we have a great conversation, but I know you won’t be on time to pick up my kids?
Maybe it’s a peer that’s fun to hang out with, but perhaps very competitive in front of management.
It could even be a relative that you already know won’t show up before dessert, so you don’t ask them to bring any side dishes for a holiday meal.
I affectionately remember a friend who called me late one night to ask if she could borrow cash. She had a situation that she was too embarrassed to trust with just anyone. She had inadvertently bent her credit card in her pocket when sitting down, and the gas pump wouldn’t take it. I got you, girl. No worries, my mouth is shut. #fatgirlproblems
To me, love and trust are not the same thing.
I can even love you but not necessarily trust you. A boundary doesn’t make another person automatically a bad guy. A boundary is there for my peace and protection; it can change when information changes.
What a wonderful place that is when you have someone you can love and trust.
