I Never Did Like PE
Okay, I already know a bunch of you looked at the title and automatically thought of Physical Education.
And then some of you need to go to confession because your mind went straight to Premature Ejaculation.
Well... you're both wrong. Kinda. Physical education was never my favorite either, but that’s not today’s confession.
I'm talking about Premature Endearment.
When words like darlin', honey, sugar, baby, or gorgeous come rolling off your tongue five minutes after we've met, they don't feel affectionate to me. They feel generic and rushed.
I grew up in Oklahoma where everybody was "Honey" and "Sweetie." The waitress called you honey. The cashier called you sweetie. It wasn't personal; it was cultural. I never thought twice about it.
But dating is different.
When a man I've known for twenty minutes calls me "Baby" or "Gorgeous," it doesn't feel warm. It feels like we're skipping over the part where we learn each other's names and trying to force intimacy before we've built any.
Frankly, it's one reason I have such an aversion to dating—that, and the fact that I suck at small talk and am incredibly awkward with strangers.
I want to be seen for who I am, not just for being a woman.
A woman.
(Okay... a woman with big boobs. Let's not pretend they don’t enter the room before I do.)
Endearments are earned. They come with friendship, familiarity, and genuine intimacy—not as a substitute for them.
But a man who looks at me and says with wonder, “You are really beautiful,” makes me feel seen. It's not that I dislike compliments. I dislike canned ones.
I have one request:
Touch my mind before you even think about touching my body.
Truthfully, I'd love to meet an intelligent, considerate man who understands the value of a name, because that’s usually where a real conversation begins.
And for those wondering... yes, this is one of the many conversations Alby and I had while he was in hospice. He told me I was too young to spend the rest of my life alone, and he hoped I'd find someone to share many more adventures with.
If that ever happens, I hope he starts by learning my name.
I know Alby would approve.
